a treatise on the reformation of back seat gamers

originally from theshizz.org

Back-seat-gaming, or BSG, is a scourge on mankind that should never be allowed to continue.
BSG is a disgrace to humanity as an enlightened and superior being, and moreover it is a violation of the sacred gamer code of conduct.
we must never let the BSG win.
and it is our shizzie duty as leaders to teach them - however harsh a lesson it may be.

the BSG must be reformed to join polite society and recognize that group gaming is about sharing.
sharing is a lesson taught in kindergarten. but there are many who never actually understand it. these people become the bullies, transients, and psychopaths of the world. BSG is just one manifestation of their disease.

from now on, we must be open and honest about BSG. we must talk about it with our friends and family.
this means looking past social courtesies and avoidance of drama with a greater good in mind.
sometimes being a trailblazer is a thankless job. and many of us may fall into martyrdom in this war.

if BSG is happening, it is imperative that it is a called out before it has a chance to propagate.
BSG are like dogs. they bark to get what they want naturally, but if the bark is left unchecked or unpunished, a precedent is established and the dog/BSG learns that this kind of activity is OK.

so we must train the BSG like animals. the very second even the slightest BSG activity is detected, act swiftly and fiercely.
tell the man/woman: NO!!!!!
use a loud, commanding tone here, or else the BSG will not fear or respect you.
stand tall and use your arms to make your body appear as big as possible, so the BSG sees you as a dominant predator.

if the BSG does not respond to NO! ,then you must use the call out:
YOU ARE A BACK-SEAT GAMER AND THAT IS NOT TOLERATED HERE!!

at this point you must stop playing the game and stare into the eyes of the offender. a deep unshakable stare will say more to the BSG ego than your words can. it communicates an ancient ingrained alpha message.

it is crucial to keep the game suspended at this stage. resuming the game under the duress of the backseat gamer is positive reinforcement for them. in fact its the only thing they crave. a 'resume' should only be granted when the BSG is clearly submissive and compunctious.

sadly, because of the nature of the BSG delusion, this stage usually results in an uncomfortable burst of emotion from the BSG. this could take the form of insult-flinging, tantrums, and in some cases physical confrontation.

continue suspension of play. use commands like:
I AM PLAYING THIS GAME. IF YOU CANT HANDLE THAT THEN LEAVE.
or
YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PRIVILEGES TO SPEAK DURING THIS GAMEPLAY.
or
YOU HAVE NOW LOST YOUR TURN AT PLAYING THIS GAME
or
YOU THINK YOU KNOW EVERYTHING BUT YOU DONT. YOU ARE JUST A BACK SEAT GAMER. I AM HAVING FUN AND YOU ARE RUINING IT.

because the BSG is essentially a brute, sometimes he/she will attempt to take the controller away from you. in this case you must stand firm and retain your possession.
it is a good idea to growl now or make a loud primal vocalization.

do this even if the game or system is the BSG's own property. by breaking the gamer code, he has forfeited his rights of dictatorship over his games. this condition is only neutralized when all other gamers have left the premises for 1 hour. or if he tells his mother, in which case a temporary asylum will be granted for 30 minutes.